Diary of an AuDHD Amigurumi Designer

My kids have been reading Minecraft Fanfic books by Cube Kid, lately. Diary of an 8-Bit Kitten, Diary of a Minecraft Warrior, so on and so forth. Since the spouse and I have been playing since the original release, these bring us much joy.

SO, here's mine. Diary of an AuDHD Amigurumi Designer. Now with menopause! 

Dear Diary,

I need to write a newsletter, so obviously I'm avoiding that by writing a blog post, instead. Because who doesn't procrastinate a big thing by doing a completely other big thing? I'm not even proCRAFTinating, because that would be work, and not really procrastinating. 

But, let's back up, who even am I?

Hi! I'm Mocha. Sarah "Mocha" Valencia. I love coffee, chocolate, and crochet. I have a spouse (A) and two kids (J, 12; A, 10) and we live in one wild and loving neruo-sparkly household in San Jose, CA. One of us is diagnosed, the other three are peer-reviewed and quite confidant in the assessment. 

I am quite convinced that crochet IS mental health. See, I have diagnosed and medicated anxiety/depression.  As a Millennial, the general timeline has gone consistently more off the rails since my late childhood. IFKYK. In late 2019 things got pretty scary for my family when my mom and stepdad had to evacuate from fires near Healdsburg and come down to stay with us in SJ. So, 4 adults, a 5 yr old and an almost 4yr old in a highly stressful situation. So, what did we do? Mom and I went craft shopping! (As one does.)

See friends, my great-grandmother taught my mom just enough in several crafts that she could continue them as she pleased. Knitting, sewing, tatting... crochet! Mom, likewise taught me to knit when I was 8. I made one very long... rope-thing, made it into a halter for a 3-ft paper-mache zebra and called it a day on knitting. Zoom forward to my 33yr old self who had discovered loom knitting and wanted to learn more crafts.

"Mom, I want to learn to crochet"

"I have been waiting your whole life for this moment!"

She helped me understand that crochet is written in shorthand, and what the difference between crochet, knitting, and Tunisian crochet was. On Oct 30th, they were allowed to go home (much to the chagrin of the kiddos who wanted to trick-or-treat with them). I cracked open my Learn to Crochet My Little Pony kit that I had gotten at Costco the previous summer and never looked back. 

I clicked with crochet like I'd been missing part of my brain. Within a month, I had people asking me to make them things - for money! Within 3 months, I was annoyed that the math in popular patterns was incorrect. Realizing that crochet was essentially math and pattern recognition I began designing my own patterns. 

February 2020, I applied for my business licence.

March 2020, I opened my first online shop... the night before the Bay Area COVID shutdowns. Amazing timing, amirite?

Well, handicraft had gotten me through one traumatic event, why not another?

Through the bulk of the pandemic - spouse working from home, kids in online kindergarten and pre-school, me starting a baby business - crochet kept me steady. If a hook was in my hand, my phone wasn't. I was more grounded, more present as a parent, more emotionally level. I was managing my mental health, pre-anxiety/depression diagnosis.

The world started opening up again. I was able to sell at markets & people really liked my stuff!! My trauma technique was bringing joy to myself and other people.

January 2022 was even darker still than the stress and isolation of the pandemic. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer and I came quite literally face-to-face with my nightmares. Mom was ambulanced to the hospital and placed in the ICU. I packed my largest suitcase - including a bunch of yarn, obviously - hugged Spouse and the Kiddos and traveled 2.5 hours away for an as-yet unknown amount of time. Mom was in the ICU for 11 days. I was in a hotel room, running bedside shifts and support for my stepdad for 11 days. Mom was asleep and in very poor condition for a lot of that time and there was a lot of information to process every day. 

Of course I had yarn with me. 

Of couurse I made gifts for the nursing staff.

Of course I delighted Mom with my work and progress.

She kicked cancer's ass earning the title of Honey Badger.

I did genetic testing and found a BRCA 2 mutation. I also finally sought professional help for my anxiety and received a diagnosis - and surgical cancer prevention. 

I have survived every trauma life has thrown at me thus far. Crochet has helped enormously. 

Crochet IS mental health. 

<3 Mocha